Osama Rahman

The government yesterday declared that not all citizens had the right to information, but they could get it by paying a modest amount.

“She forced me to take weeklong vacations with an ex-girlfriend. She forced me to spend days on the beach with my ex.”

A morally upstanding preacher, who made a name for himself by spewing violent vitriol against more liberal members of his community on a daily basis, yesterday disclosed to the media that he had a side-wife as well.

Is it better to stay in a toilet for seven months with four others or is it better to work 10-hour shifts with no toilet breaks?

Of all the people who inundated the country’s social media feed with pictures of them getting vaccinated, more than half had not met the criteria, data from a public health watchdog shows.

Red lights. Green light. Then blue lights. And some yellow lights. It doesn’t matter when the colours stop representing what they are meant to because we don’t have enough of those colours.

Osama Rahman [OR]: We all want to know one thing and I want to get right to the point. Why is your image being tarnished so easily? Do critical words really take away from how far you have come since you were declared a basket case by a racist, mass murderer?

The Government of Chapasthan officially launched The Snitches Club earlier yesterday. An initiative of the Ministry of Misinformation, the club was inaugurated by the country’s leader, who attended virtually from their official residence.

As woman’s day dawns upon us, two arguments immediately break out: what about men’s day, and look at how all the feminists killed chivalry.

A disorganised crime family – The Dark Side -- has suddenly come in the crosshairs of a multimillion-dollar propaganda machine, also known as News. Although no one is supposed to talk about it, so as to avoid feeding the propaganda, how innocent Third World country citizens are targeted by more prosperous nations merited some discussion.

The recent declaration by the unhealthy minister of the country that no VIPs, VVIPs or even VVVIPs would take the much-wanted vaccines first has spread a sense of camaraderie throughout the country.

A section of corrupt officials, using their expertise in, well, corruption, have come up with a list of immoral activities that citizens are to avoid at all costs.

WhatsApp groups comprising pandemic doctors -- or people who used their free time to research important causes using choice keywords -- recently announced a surefire way of curing anxiety in the country.

The United States of America, a former colony of the United Kingdom, may not yet be ready for democracy.

It was supposed to be a cause for grand celebration, but instead there have been loud grumbles of disdain.

Saint Martin is supposed to be the next big tourist destination for Bangladeshis. Fact is, Saint Martin has been the ‘next big thing’ since it was first discovered. The second fact is Saint Martin will always be the Mario Ballotelli of the tourism world: the potential is there, but it can never be realised.

In a strike against visual learners, cartoons were banned in The Country following complaints against badly-drawn Micky Mouse figures outside the premises of most primary schools.

Bardda, or North Bardda to be more specific, which has always pretended to be Goolshan, will soon be turned into an amusement park/resort, the Ministry of Money announced yesterday.

Shimanta Jalil, who made headlines last week for saying men would be tempted to rap about women if they wore “indecent” clothes, made another U-turn this week and released his latest album “The Burqa Boys: As A Brother”.

Village idiot turned self-made superstar Shimanta Jalil has become the first mainstream celebrity to call out the rape culture in Bangladesh, but he claims his message was misunderstood.