Meeting Relatives after a Long Time

Sometimes, I don't understand the concept behind extended family reunions. I'm sure my dada'r bhai er fupur chhoto chhele is doing well for himself. I don't need to hear every little detail about his career life.

When we do get stuck in these reunions, it's good to make the best out of the situation and figure out ways our distant relatives can be helpful.

Throw out your weight machines
Who needs 'em anyway when you can walk up to a relative ( whom you've last met four years ago) and they'll tell you whether you've gained or lost weight more accurately than most weight machines will? And the best part? They'll give you free health advice as an added bonus!

Make them write your college application for you
Forgotten how bad your grades were back in fifth grade? Don't you worry, your relatives have it all covered. Be it your past grades or your recent, they've memorised them all and also your cousins' so let the comparison games begin! Since they already know more about your academic life than you probably do, sit back, relax, and let them apply for you.

Who needs Tinder?
Are you a man or a woman of barely marriageable age? Are you worried you'll never find true love that will fill the void left by relationships past? Even if you aren't, your relatives are here to help find the one for you. They have extensive knowledge on all other eligible bachelors and bachelorettes on the block so your dreams of marrying that girl who always dries her hair in the paasher chhaad might finally come true. 

No need for dermatologists 
Long lost relatives always come equipped with expert skin care advice and eagle eyes to detect even the slightest change in your skin tone. Got acne too? No problem! You surely never wash your face or drink enough water, but all that will change once you talk to your relatives again. If you had only kept in touch all these years, maybe you would've had flawless skin by now. 

Facebook memories? We got something better
Aunties and uncles who have known you since you were running around in diapers can take you down memory lane, emphasising on embarrassing moments you just want to forget. This conversation will probably also take place right in front of that cute guy you were checking out all wedding-long. No worries, your relatives have better suitors lined up for you anyway. They'll even expect you to remember things from when you were three so be sure to make them feel special by always replying with, "Yes, I remember, good times." Maybe they'll be happy enough to bring you actual gifts instead of skincare products the next time they get home from a trip abroad.

Mayabee Arannya is a confused soul still searching for a purpose. Give her advice on life at facebook.com/mayabee.arannya