Royal rumble – 2016's performance SUVs

The world is SUV-crazy right now. With a host of brand new SUVs being shoved out the dealership doors before they can be re-stocked in every part of the planet (including Bangladesh), you'd think that the environmentally conscious car buying crowd would get over the post-2010 SUV obsession and move on to smaller, more economical vehicles. The market for SUVs has done anything but shrink, and the following are proof of the fact that luxurious, compact, performance oriented SUVs are only increasing in demand. 

BENTLEY BENTAYGA

It might be a cathedral on wheels and be built solely for the purpose of carrying around footballers with questionable taste, but the one thing we can say for certain regarding the Bentayga is that it is possibly the ugliest thing we have laid eyes on in recent years. It is horrendous. Moving this hideous cathedral is a 6.0 litre twin-turbocharged W12 putting out 600 bhp and 663 lb-ft of torque, good for a 4.1 second 0-100 km/h sprint and top speed of 301 km/h.

MASERATI LEVANTE

Unlike Bentley's brute, the Italian offering comes with boatloads of grace and style, and is so much sleeker that we sort of can (and will) overlook the fact that Maserati, like Bentley, should not ever get it into their heads that building SUVs is a good idea. At launch, the Levante will come with a couple of V6 offerings, with a performance version possibly getting a turbocharged V8 from the Quattroporte.

We asked the readers to pick between the Bentley CathedralOfHorrors and Maserati NeverShouldHaveHappened. Here's what they said.

Oyshy Enayet – "Bentley because the only Italian SUV thingy should have been the original Lamborghini LM-002 and that's that."
Ayan Rahman – "Leaning towards the Bentayga, but if the Levante sounds anything like the Ghibli, then Levante. With prettier rims and a darker shade of colour."
Md Samir Iqbal – "The front end of the Bentayga looks like the beast from Disney's Beauty and the Beast. Even the color matches. The white Italian Levante is what I'd choose (hoping it comes with a lifetime's supply of lasagna)."

JAGUAR F-PACE
Think Jag XJ on stilts and you get the F-Pace. One reader went so far as to call it "a fitness machine of some sort". Aside from the stupid name, the F-Pace has a range of engine options from the economical to the mad: the top grade F-Pace comes with a 370 BHP V6. Its not as powerful as the Bentayga, but it's a lot lighter and honestly, we think it's kind of good looking. There's a chance it might cannibalise the Range Rovers that sister company Land Rover makes, but it's not like rich people have much brand loyalty when it comes to SUVs. They'll possibly buy both.

PORSCHE MACAN GTS
The Cayenne's baby brother gets more power and more aggression for 2016, with 20 more horsepower leading to a figure of 360 BHP. There's also Porsche's PDK gearbox and active suspension. It's probably the most performance oriented SUV here, but does it come with the luxury? Of course, it's a Porsche.

We asked the readers to pick between the Jaguar WhatIsThisFitnessMachine and Porsche MacauThatParrotSpecies. Here's what they said.

Shoeb Saleheen – "If I had to choose between these two, I'd take the Porsche over the Jag any day- even if the Jag was offered free. IMO, Jaguar has been slow to play catch-up in this segment. Also consider the fact that purists also screamed murder when Porsche announced they would be building an SUV - but then the Cayenne came and it was, in every sense, a Porsche."
Zayan Khan – "I actually love the Macan and F-Pace and I don't really mind Jag building an SUV."
Munajj Ahamed – "That JAAAAAG looks pretty good to me."