THIS WEEK'S HORRORSCOPE

Aries
If you jump too much, you won't be able to breathe.

Taurus
Do not charge in to a fight without consulting a Murloc first. 

Gemini
Just get yourself some coffee. 

Cancer
Use nasal drops sparingly please.

Leo
I am not too sure about that hotdog costume.

Virgo
Try to score a goal like Mandzukic, fail, cry. 

Libra
Time to tilt your head and dance to K-Pop. 

Scorpio
Do NOT go near that bull. Don't.  

Sagittarius
If you're stuck in traffic during this month, consider eating your tyre.  

Capricorn
Make a house of cards and live in it. 

Aquarius
You need to get a cycle. Make it ride you. 

Pisces
Your pockets are for keeping your tears in.