Politics in Bangladesh

First, let us appreciate that Bangladesh is an exceedingly rich country, and has no need to work most days. Less fortunate countries, such as the United States or Switzerland, are poor, and must work as much as possible, with few holidays. I think this is fairly obvious.

Second, the hartal system is yet another facet of the gentle and gracious manner in which politics is conducted in the subcontinent. You see, in the West, we always want to win. For example, Tony Blair in the UK wants to win the next election. This is vulgar, greedy, and blatantly opportunistic.

In the East, you guys are much more gracious. You campaign to come second, and let the other chaps (ladies) have a chance. That is how cricket used to be played, and a jolly good game it was too, until you foreigners started beating us!

So, in Bangladesh, the object of any election campaign is to come second, for two reasons. The first is that it is gentlemanly (ladylike?) to give the other lot a chance.

The second, and here we see the cunning of the Orient, the real prize is not the right to run the country, but the right to call hartals! If you read the constitution of your country, you will see it is quite clear. He (she) who comes second shall call a hartal every time he (she) feels a bit grumpy!

So there we have it, Mr Awlad Hossain. Thank you for bringing this subject to my attention. I intend to call on the British High Commissioner at the earliest possible opportunity, and exhort him to study your system, and then recommend to Her Majesty that she consider an amendment to our constitution as soon as possible.

At least then, although we are no longer rich, we can at least be civilised...and no more Tony Blair!