Roots of corruption

Being the Principal of a school, I have to take the matter of the mutual respect of parents, teachers and pupils very seriously - and the system of discipline that can support it. There are two temptations that both school and home can fall into - one is to have a system of discipline so harsh (using beating and shouting, withering sarcasm and repeatedly telling the child that it is 'weak', morally and/or academically) that the spirit of the child is broken. The other is to avoid punishment altogether and deal with every offence with a shrug and a sweet smile. This last can be because some children, in the eyes of their parents, can do no wrong so that anything that goes wrong is considered the school's fault and any attempt at disciplining is too harsh. (The same parents sometimes come wailing to the school, later, because they have lost control of it and wonder what they have done wrong!) But when parents have removed pupils from your school because you have taken their offences seriously, it can make you very nervous!

I do believe there is a sensible middle way - 'training the will without breaking the spirit' - but, in this culture, I have found that it is extremely hard work. Firstly, one has to create an atmosphere in which making mistakes is a normal part of learning and living with others. Mistakes are not to be mocked or over-reacted to, especially with physical or verbal abuse. Secondly, the mistake has to be owned up to and discussed calmly for ways in which repetition can be avoided. Thirdly, something has to happen! The child must NOT 'get away with it'! Maybe one demands a sincere apology or the replacement of something broken or a report to the parents or carrying out of some detention.

Fourthly, after that, the matter is OVER. No more recriminations or re-iterations about the enormity of the offence although, in school, records are quietly kept. To me, this is simply trying to make the principle of forgiveness and mercy 'work' and it is most strange to me that, with so much that is said in all good religions about these things, the children, and some parents, need so much help to make it work in practice. This tends to be a merciless culture!