An icon of discipline and elegance

After I 'd dropped off from my master's exam I was very carefully avoiding showing up in my department. She perfectly understood my predicament and didn't delay a second to make me feel at ease with her. "You have become bulky!" (She was smiling). "Why don't you come over and meet us." She read what's been going inside my mind. "Come over, I am sure this year you are not going to drop it again". I wasn't sure, but she was! All I could let out was yes, yes and yes madam! "Okay then, see you and take care of your health girl"! When she told some one to take care of health you bet she meant it. It was not only meant in her tone and her eyes or in her irresistible grin. She meant it because she practiced it. Any one could be jealous of her fitness. Any one without giving a second thought would become a life long devotee to her style and elegance. The sarees she wore, the colors she chose! A Bangali in every single way. A style to become the ultimate tradition.

"Those who already know me, please excuse me the repetition. Those who don't, I am Sitara Parveen for their information." She introduced herself in her first class with us. "This lady got some attitude," I thought. But I didn't realize this attitude would keep every one of us mesmerized the next five long years. Late for any class? Never. Postponing any schedule without any priror notice? Never. On time (early in most cases), on every occasion? Yes, always. She was the epitome of discipline in the department. The question of meeting any deadline wouldn't simply arise for her because every thing with her was meticulously planned, already done long before the deadline.

Everybody will agree that the department saw its most successful period during the two years of her chairmanship. She would stay in the Fridays with us during our practical. She was the head of the department, but she had her whole Friday for us! She introduced roll-call. Attendance was strictly counted. Not only the students, I am sure her colleagues also got their clue. We had to attend classes to get through .We did, our batch landed with the highest number of first classes. Many were declared non-collegiate, many not eligible to appear at the exam. But did we ever even think of being doubtful about her? Her terms made her all the more admirable because strict discipline suited her. Not everybody can master discipline. Some get overwhelmed and eventually collapse. But when it was Sitara Parveen, she contained discipline, discipline didn't contain her.

"No man is an island, any man's death diminishes me ". Dear Sir, you recited John Donne in class. Now your colleague, your wife, your life partner is gone. What you are going to prefer sir? Remain diminished like an island? Or holding yourself strong, not letting us miss her indomitable strength always been so inspiring to us?

You two were our pride in the department. A union of professionalism, self respect and duty .You used to address her Apni or Ms Chairperson in the meetings or any formal gathering. But didn't we know how inseparable you two were? Her visions reflected your activities, being the next head of the department you proved to be her perfect successor Sir.

We know, with her right beside you, the union was strong. But now we believe it will be eternal and stronger. Conventional mourning is not the way to pay respect to her. She deserves something unique as she used to be. If we can follow her through the example she set with her unquestionable sense of duty, her sheer elegance, her extraordinary leadership, we will be paying the true respect to her. We promise we will! Please be there with us Sir.

(Professor Dr. Sitara Parveen taught in the department of Mass Communication & Journalism in Dhaka University. She died in a terrible car crash in United States on June 23,2005.She was heading toward Missouri from Chicago to attend a seminar .Her husband Professor Dr. Ahaduzzaman Muhammad Ali teaches in the same department.)

Sheikh Mahmuda Sultana(Roma) Research Officer, South Asia Partnership Bangladesh