Nasreen Huq

We both kept saying "why her and why not one of us?" For us, may be a handful of people would have mourned, but she touched the lives of so many people. She needed to live for her daughter Jamila, whom she was ecstatic to have in her life after all these years, for Choton Da (Nurul Islam Bhuyian, renowned journalist and editor), her friend, husband and soulmate of nearly twenty years and also for all the people she had helped and for the many more lives she was capable of changing for the better. Bangladesh had just lost its biggest asset; she was one of the most precious jewels of Bangladesh. More than a month has passed by and I am still at a loss for words and trying to make sense of her untimely death. She is being missed sorely by one and all who had the honour and privilege to know her.

A lot of people have written about her accomplishments and how she had helped different sectors of society through her work with the acid attack survivors, the blind, the victims of abuse and violence and the very poor, but Happy Apa was not limited to only helping these people, she reached out to provide support and comfort to anyone in distress. When my father, Sheikh Ahmed Jalal, was admitted to hospital, it was Happy Apa and Choton Da who were regular visitors and when he died in 2003, it was again they who were by my side to provide support. When I was in need of work, it was Happy Apa who gave me the consultancy work she had been offered but asked me to do it instead. It was entirely Happy Apa and Choton Da's idea for me to apply for the Chevening Commonwealth Scholarship for my Master's in the UK and no-one was more delighted than her when I won the award. She took me out to celebrate that night. I could go on reminiscing about the many occasions when I accompanied her to social gatherings and worked together on several projects for the Naripokkha and Action Aid Bangladesh and laughed at so many experiences and incidents. Not once during all this time had I ever seen Happy Apa lose her temper or even speak to anyone in a harsh tone. She was simply incapable of being ill-spirited. She tried to accommodate and help everyone who needed any sort of assistance, whether rich or poor.

A lot of us do not practice what we preach in life, but that was not the case with Happy Apa. I have gone to her Apt. in Road No. 4 Dhanmondi, when the door had been opened by different girls who were victims of acid attacks. They were either staying at her place temporarily, for shelter, for singing lessons for leisure. Happy Apa used to tell me that she gave the keys to her apartment to the girls so they could have a place to come to for recreation, since they had nothing much to look forward to in life. When her maid became too old to work, she asked her not to work anymore and instead provided her pension, telling me that there was no welfare system in Bangladesh and so she provided the support for the elderly woman to retire. Happy Apa even gave her entire seven years severance pay, when she left Hellen Keller for Action Aid, to the hospitals for treatment and drugs for the poor. Her statement was “Charity begins at home.” She truly was an amazingly generous woman. It was her acts and deeds that made me enter the world of development work instead of being an economist in the corporate world. I looked up to her as an elder sister, a friend, an adviser and my mentor.

It is still a shock for me to think that she can no longer be found in any corner of this world. She used to travel all the time. Whenever I called from Canada or England, she was either flying off to a conference in some far corner of the world or going off to attend a meeting or two in some remote village of Bangladesh. It is still very difficult for me to fathom that for someone who traveled so much, that death would meet her so gruesomely at her own doorstep. How ironic! This is poetic in-justice!

I wonder what she is doing at this moment? Can she see us and observe how much grief we are suffering at her loss? Can she see that the void she has left behind by her early departure will be so difficult, if not impossible, to fill? The impact she has had on so many people's lives, the gift she had in being able to communicate with the Heads of States of a country to the most vulnerable, needy and helpless poor people, is unmatchable. My father used to say that she is our 'Mother Teresa'. That's what she was, a saint, a gracious, selfless, noble, humble, big-hearted and visionary lady. What a costly and irreplaceable loss for Bangladesh!

Happy Apa, known to the world as Nasreen Huq, will be missed dearly by innumerable people. Now that she has left us, the onus is on us to continue with her work and realize her unfinished dreams. Only in working towards helping the poor or showing acts of kindness to the less fortunate can we show the respect and love to the person who gave so much to each one of us personally and to the people of Bangladesh in general. No matter which part of this world we live in, we should follow her principles by being compassionate and thoughtful of the needs of others. Indeed, charity needs to begin at home.

Sylvia Jalal is Consultant, Canadian International Development Agency (CIDA), Ottawa, Canada.