The Clash of the Plates

It's 5 am. A record number of us offer our Fajr prayers ON time, WITH humility AND with sincerity. I am sure it's a similar situation in the case of a record number of those of all religions.

A record number of people are late for work from having lost an hour's sleep. 

A record number of Facebook posts and Tweets flood social media.  

The 5 am earthquake is a wake-up call – literally and figuratively.

As my wife and I grab the kids and run down the stairs to the street, we meet many strangers, only to find out that they all live in the same apartment complex as we do. It takes a 6.2 magnitude jolt to finally get to meet our immediate neighbours. 

Let's be fair. I do know some of them, but it is hard to recognise them. People sure do look strange when they are dragged out of bed at 5 in the morning, more so if they are without make-up. Nobody seems to have difficulties recognising my wife – she still has make-up on from the three weddings we had attended the evening before. 

A Lexus SUV pulls over. The occupants ask us why we are congregated on the street like refugees. They are oblivious of the quake. Well, that speaks a lot about the best in class suspension system of the Lexus.

The mobile phones are working fine. That's because many are fast asleep and happily unaware of the tremor (or riding around in high end SUVs) nor are there any unusual gatherings at a nearby Gulshan office. 

After plenty of prayers, self-realisations and pleasantries, we determine it's 'safe' to go back to our homes. 

A few seconds of fear followed by harmony followed by the realisation that we are just a dust in the wind which in turn is followed by the vow for peace, harmony and humility. Oh yes, also the solemn oath to never squish an insect unless it's a life threatening situation. Again, we promise to see our neighbours more often and under better circumstances….and to search the web on proper earthquake preparedness. The list goes on. 

5 am the following morning. Most of us are fast asleep. Those who are up, get a head start in bickering, conspiring, conniving and scheming. Oh, and the banging noise of construction continues – what earthquake protection? That costs money. Besides, why spend money to make an earthquake-proof building, it will get destroyed anyway from the collapsing of all the 'cost effective' ones (without earthquake protection) surrounding the lone ranger. 

It's business as usual. Just like all promises, the seismic ones are also meant to be broken as we position objects inside buildings ready to fall on our heads. When the next tremor hits, we will still remain undecided whether to run to the street or go under the table or lodge ourselves next to a sturdy upright object. We are still hopeful that our mobile phones will work when everybody starts dialing at the same time. Landlines in the hour of seismic landmines are a thing of the past…

There isn't much we can do about seismic faults. But let's not make the damage worse due to human faults. Sure San Andreas was a great movie, but let's not give Hollywood any reason to make a sequel called Modhupur…

So, never go to bed angry, ok, ok, or without some make-up. But that is not enough. So, I flex my funny muscles to try to galvanise all those concerned to flex their protective muscles to prepare us for the big one. Otherwise, the next time the tectonic plates shift, it will not just be our dinner plates falling on our heads.

Are we ready? 

The writer is an engineer at Ford & Qualcomm USA and CEO of IBM & Nokia Siemens Networks Bangladesh turned comedian (by choice), the host of ABC Radio's Good Morning Bangladesh and the founder of Naveed's Comedy Club. E-mail: naveed@naveedmahbub.com