Why To Be Proud Of Being Short

Hang from places, you'll get taller. Mix disgusting brown powder with milk and drink it, you'll get taller. Eat bananas, you'll get taller. 

Why do you just assume I want long limbs, world? Why can't I like being stumpy little me? Besides, I'm too busy trying to reach the cookies on the highest shelf to even consider your advice.

When you're short, you become instantly cuter. I'm not sure if "cute" is a pity compliment people give because they don't think you're pretty, but a compliment's a compliment. This is mostly applicable for girls but that doesn't mean there aren't people who love short guys either. 

You also look younger than you are. This lasts till you're old so you can laugh in the faces of your overly wrinkly tall friends and finally have your sweet revenge. 

You can get away with kids' tickets to places. If you have a small appetite or just a small wallet, people wouldn't bat an eye if you settled for kids' meals at restaurants either.

You can wear ridiculously oversized clothing for extra comfort and tell people you couldn't find the right size and they'd call you adorable anyway. Also, you could fit into kids' clothing, which means you can have all the Ben 10 and Barbie t-shirts you want!

It would be socially acceptable for you to act both like a child and an adult, depending on the situation. You're the perfect size for both ages.

You don't risk bumping your head on things and dying. Also, you can sit comfortably on the front seat of a car without your head touching the roof.

You can look both menacing and cute simultaneously. Most people on the internet seem to think that short people are evil because they're "closer to Hell." Well, use this to your advantage, little ones. Get your witch face on and show them who's boss when you need to. However, if there ever comes a time when you want to get out of an unwanted task, smile and be your adorable self again. (This is also why world domination is in our hands and not in the huge hands of the tall folk.)

Although, I must regretfully add, you long-legged creatures one up us on various aspects as well. 

You get the pleasure of not letting us reach something we want by simply taking it and raising your arm. You can use us as hand rests whenever you get the chance. You can look down on us every time you talk to us, literally. You can reach things on high shelves easily while we have to master it through years of hardcore training. You have the upper hand in most sports. You can sit in front of us and block the view whenever you like.

Don't rest easy, though, tall ones. We'll get our revenge. Someday.

Mayabee Arannya is a confused little soul still searching for a purpose. Give her advice on life at facebook.com/mayabee.arannya